Another Restless Night

It's 4:20a.m., and I seem to see this hour often lately! I wake around 1a.m. and can't seem to get back to sleep...my legs ache, my bed is uncomfortable, the dogs are restless...and I can't find a good spot. So here I am making coffee, and hoping I can find a more comfortable spot then the one I'm in! And thinking I'm hungry so maybe I'll make b'fast.

But yesterday Ian took me for clean hair and a little retail therapy (his), and sweet Bucket came to visit! I'm so happy to report that her aunt's tumor isn't cancer, and that they will shrink it with radiation...not ideal, but certainly the better alternative!

Today my dear friend Janice is coming to take me out to lunch...and Colleen will come later for some comic relief.

Doctor tomorrow...shower in my future? Fingers crossed!

I am still slow, and taking everything slow! I can't even say it's killing me, because it isn't as if I have a choice...my body simply won't let me.

I hope you all have an ache and pain free day!
xo

Another Week in a Life...

Here it is Monday, December 3rd. I entered this hospital 1 week ago...how is it I'm still here? Well, surgery Monday. Surgery Tuesday. Wednesday didn't really exist. Thursday couldn't get out of bed without being dizzy...finally got some liquids other than IV. Friday still floppy..barely walked, and managed to poop(so proud). Saturday walked to the nurses desk, a little soft food and the day was over. Sunday walked 3 times around the floor and had my sweet mommy and daddy come visit...then my adorable devil-friend Colleen, and finally my bro and sis-in-law...and walked another 8x around.

And here we are at Monday again.The doctor will be in today and will tell me when I get to break out!

I feel great, but am slow. My hair is disgusting, and I'd KILL for a shower (and you know I would).

GUESS WHAT! Doctor was just here...I'm going home!

Giving Thanks

I have spent today in the office. It's Sunday, but last week was taken up with doctors and such, and I ran out of time. But it's about 2:15, and I'm almost done! And last week I ran out of time to play catch up in blog-land.

Thanks to Dawn for the wonderful scrapbbok weekend last weekend, and to Lisa and Juls and Lisa's friend Kristen for including me in their fun! And thanks Juls for sharing a room with me!

My Thanksgiving was fabu! Hope yours was, too! Started with the Trader Joe's Turkey Bowl, then finished my coking and delivered cupcakes to my 2 cupcake queens, then off to M&D's for a great time! Thanks family for making it...entertaining!

Thanks to my mommy and my sis for going shopping with me Friday morning at 5a.m., and thanks for doing the latkes with me before I can't.

Thanks to Nedra for opening the shop for me. It was supposed to be your day off, but you wouldn't let me go to hospital with bad nails...and thanks for doing them half painted, so my nailbeds are naked!

Thanks to Mike for flying in to take me to dinner last night for my "last supper"...stick to my ribs red meat, oh happy day!

Thanks to my friends who are drowning me with love and offers of assistance. I'll call, but you can call me too!

Wish me success...luck is too chancy!

xo

Compulsive or Anxious?

Here it is, the night before Thanksgiving (well, 30 minutes away)... I've got the cranberry sauce remade, the brussel sprouts washed and draining, the yams and
the pumpkin spice cupcakes baking...and I really just need sleep! But there will be lots of that shortly, so I'm going to work my butt off and lift my heavy pots from bottom cabinets and everything I can do, before I can't anymore!
Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday. It has nothing to do with religion, so it doesn't create resentment or hatred amongst one zealot or another.

Ian and I will start with the Trader Joe's annual Turkey Bowl, come home to rest a while, shower and head to mom & dad's (stopping at Lori's to be the cupcake fairy, and perhaps at the home of the royal cupcake queen herself)! I am the side dish queen...and perfectly happy to do so! The only part of the turkey I really like is the outside, though I'll wrassle my sis for the gizzard! Did I mention that dad deep-frys our birds, and has since before it became really groovy to do so? I have a deep-fryer if anyone would like to borrow it...anytime!

Friday, my mom, my sis and I will do potato latkes... this is a messy, fun tradition! Refer back in a few days for the potatoe weight and quantity frozen (always very different from the qty fried)! This is our tradition! Lots of Jews make them fresh on Chanukah night, but I think it stinks up the house and someone is stuck frying...so this is how we roll!

Saturday will be nail day...something sedate that exposes my nailbeds...for the anesthesiologist, so he/she doesn't remove my polish!

It's now 12:30...time to wrap up whatever I can and finish in the a.m. Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and to your beloved families!

xo

Spiraling Out of Control

Here I am sucking down beer #4, darvocet #2 and soma # who-can-remember and thinking:

There I was, driving home at the end of the day looking forward to a little peace, and I got "hit"...right in my comfort zone. Why was Al from my orthopedic surgeon's office calling me at 5:30pm on a Friday?

So the answer is this: I get two surgeries...one on Monday, November 26th and one on Tuesday, November 27th. Once through the front...and once through the back. So seriously, I'll come out of the anesthesia on Monday and realize how painful it is...and then realize that I get it on the flip side the next day...excuse my language (FUCK).

And the best...it's Friday and I see my doctor on Wednesday...and have to wait until then for answers.

I...hate relying on others. I... firmly believe that I can take care of myself, but for this moment I am not feeling terribly confident. I... am freaking out! I...am wondering if they have a Starbucks in the hospital (adding that to the list of doctor questions). I...am seriously pissed off! I...am going to miss the previews of the Scarlet Lime kits (though Christy is an angel and will send me the payment link before surgery...xoxo to you). I...am going to miss my darling friend's birthdays (I love you Colleen and Crystle). I... refuse to admit I am completely terrified to not be in control. I...am definitely freaking out!

Thank you for listening...you are the peeps I adore! xo

I'M NOT IGNORING YOU

I am mentally shutting down...it isn't good, but it's me. You may not hear from me. You may not get return calls. I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed, as I race head-first toward surgery day. I am just trying to deal with the things that are mine.

Thanks to everyone who is offering help. I am stubborn and will say no, but thank you for offering! And thanks to everyone who listens to me complain...I can't stand myself sometimes; I'm sure you're over it, too!

Please don't be hurt. E-mails are welcome. Phone calls are welcome...I'll pick up if I can! I just feel like I can only deal with so much!

On a positive note, I should get my car back today! The Orange Line was a hoot, though, and it might be a fun change when daylight savings time returns!

Squirrel on a Wheel

Two weeks...that's what I have until the day I can't lift anything heavier than my Starbucks cup...and I feel like time is running away!

I have so much to do over the next several days, and will be gone over the weekend, so will really be behind! So if you don't see me/ hear from me...give me a call: I'll be the one running around wondering where the time goes!