Working toward "HA" right back!

I saw the Oncologist today. She was very nice, and very matter of fact. She told me that she believes the cancer was caught early. She believes that because of the size of the melanoma (0.48mm) and the "margin" (1mm), that it is localized. She believes that the Dermatologist got it all, but that the Surgeon will take a little more, just to be safe. They drew blood for a test to detect melanoma cells. And then I met Colleen for a much-needed walk; and then I stayed and walked with my brother and sis-in-law.

The next step is a PET scan...oh yeah! Sign me up for something where they inject radioactive crap into my body and then do a full body scan! And then surgery...housekeeping at the site, inject dye near the site to filter into the lymph nodes so they can take a node out and look at it right there in surgery to see if the melanoma spread. OH YEAH!!!

This is definitely a bugger! It has me seriously pissed off, and certainly concerned with the occasional scared. These days I live for my walks, so this may throw me for a few. Remember that anger is a much more effective emotion than sad or scared...anger is energy!

Thank you ALL for being supportive. I am beyond blessed to have amazing friends and family, and so many of you have offered to assist with anything, just as so many of you offered 5 months ago when I had surgery. I really will ask if I need help, but Ian is sort of working on stepping up...and for now I'm just living my life to the fullest! When I'm struggling, I will definitely holler!

Feel free to call me any time. If I don't answer I might be walking, or tired of talking, but I will call back!

I love you and thank you for being you. And when I've kicked this thing in the ass, I sense a party!

xo

GOD said, "HA"!

I physically feel amazing. I've taken my life back, and am regaining ME! Not to brag, but I was recently referred to as a "thin bitch", which is a great compliment from my sister (the one we rescued at birth from the puppy farm). I will never be skinny (refer to the Jewish hips and thighs), but I am definitely BETTER. I am still a bit slow and not 100% from surgery, but it has been 5 months and I am closer to ME then I have been in a long time! I walk 15+ miles per week thanks to my darling friends, and I am so enjoying life...Ian is being pretty darned cute and quite lovely...

and then GOD said, "HA"!

The diagnosis is malignant melanoma. CANCER. You know my words to the doctor..."shut the fuck up" and, "you've so got the wrong girl".

So tomorrow I go to the Oncologist, and hope to schedule an immediate PET scan so that we can see that this shit is localized and that they can remove it and be done. I go to the Surgeon next Monday, after my San Fran trip.

Do not worry about me. Do not be sympathetic. Do not stress. I am going to kick the shit out of this thing, and then get on...with my life and with the 25k I had planned for August.

Just know that I appreciate all support, and that I love you all for wanting to help. If I don't respond, I'm hiding...it worked well this weekend!

NOTE: Credit to Julia Sweeney for the title of this posting!

Biggest Loser

I SO DISLIKE REALITY TELEVISION! Last season Juls sucked me in to Big Brother, but other then that, I don't do reality! I am very happy in my mindless world of fantasy! But last season I was at Crystle & Michael's, and they watched Biggest Loser...so I watched, but didn't get in to it because it was mid way and I didn't connect with anyone.

But I started this season from the first show, and that was all it took...that and Tivo to get me through the really slow parts! I like this show because it really is all about lifting people up. There is nothing evil or nasty or vindictive about it; it's all about improving lives, helping these people realize their potential and saving their lives! I LOVE THIS SHOW!

I totally connected with some of it, and watching them inspired me. I completely related to the 21 year old Dan when he described his "breakfast soda", the 44oz coke that he had for breakfast...not to be confused with the cokes he had all day long. Mine wasn't (always) the 44oz size, but it was something (and most of you know, I don't do diet)! Because of him, I have no b'fast coke...but my coffee intake is an embarrassment! My drive-thru Starbux kids know my order. And my previous 1-2 coke per day habit is down...if I have a coke, a 20 oz'er lasts 2 days!

It has inspired me to get off my (pre-surgery) fat ass! Well, that and my over-achieving friend Bucket, the marathon chick! With the girls (Bucket, Colleen, Teri), or with just me and the boys (Buster, Bruiser, Marley)...I am walking Balboa golf course (3+ miles) at least 4 times per week! IF YOU WANNA JOIN US, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL ADD YOU TO THE TEXT FOR TIME LIST! And because this is my blog and I can brag... I have lost almost all of the weight I've gained since being injured (18 lb), and am once again able to fit into my fav jeans! I feel great!

And last night Ian and I hashed out a very major problem, and peace once again reigns supreme in my world, for the moment.

Now I am working on getting past the slowness. I am frustrated that I still can't do...lots of stuff. That I lost 18 months+ of my life, and that it really has messed with my head. I try not to be angry, but it isn't always easy.

I think I am a better person, and more patient with the world. I still can't be patient with total stupidity and laziness, but beyond that...I'm working on it! I have slowed down, and truly realize how lucky I am and how great my life is. I know how blessed I am to have friends like you.

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

TWO LEFT FEET IS NO EXCUSE...

Have a Salsa dance lesson and help Bucket's fundraising efforts! The teacher, Alex, is donating all the proceeds to her fundraising.

Check it out... You don't need to bring a partner, as Bucket is sure many people there will be without one. Lesson fee is only $10, you really can't beat that. Doesn't it sound like fun!!! Come and take a Salsa Lesson with Alex D. Silva!

Alex Da Silva is skilled in Mambo, Salsa, Argentine Tango and Swing dancing. Da Silva is the 2002 and 2005 World Salsa Champion and has worked with Jennifer Lopez, Will Smith, Puff Daddy and Enrique Iglesias. He has choreographed commercials for Burger King and Coca-Cola.http://www.alexdasilva.com/. Someone mentioned that he was a choreographer for "So You Think You Can Dance", a television program.

Date: Tuesday April 8th - JUST SHOW UP!!!
Place: Madilyn Clark Studios10852 Burbank BlvdNorth Hollywood
Class Time: 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Lesson Fee $10.