Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Another Restless Night

It's 4:20a.m., and I seem to see this hour often lately! I wake around 1a.m. and can't seem to get back to sleep...my legs ache, my bed is uncomfortable, the dogs are restless...and I can't find a good spot. So here I am making coffee, and hoping I can find a more comfortable spot then the one I'm in! And thinking I'm hungry so maybe I'll make b'fast.

But yesterday Ian took me for clean hair and a little retail therapy (his), and sweet Bucket came to visit! I'm so happy to report that her aunt's tumor isn't cancer, and that they will shrink it with radiation...not ideal, but certainly the better alternative!

Today my dear friend Janice is coming to take me out to lunch...and Colleen will come later for some comic relief.

Doctor tomorrow...shower in my future? Fingers crossed!

I am still slow, and taking everything slow! I can't even say it's killing me, because it isn't as if I have a choice...my body simply won't let me.

I hope you all have an ache and pain free day!
xo

Monday, December 3, 2007

Another Week in a Life...

Here it is Monday, December 3rd. I entered this hospital 1 week ago...how is it I'm still here? Well, surgery Monday. Surgery Tuesday. Wednesday didn't really exist. Thursday couldn't get out of bed without being dizzy...finally got some liquids other than IV. Friday still floppy..barely walked, and managed to poop(so proud). Saturday walked to the nurses desk, a little soft food and the day was over. Sunday walked 3 times around the floor and had my sweet mommy and daddy come visit...then my adorable devil-friend Colleen, and finally my bro and sis-in-law...and walked another 8x around.

And here we are at Monday again.The doctor will be in today and will tell me when I get to break out!

I feel great, but am slow. My hair is disgusting, and I'd KILL for a shower (and you know I would).

GUESS WHAT! Doctor was just here...I'm going home!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Giving Thanks


I have spent today in the office. It's Sunday, but last week was taken up with doctors and such, and I ran out of time. But it's about 2:15, and I'm almost done! And last week I ran out of time to play catch up in blog-land.


Thanks to Dawn for the wonderful scrapbbok weekend last weekend, and to Lisa and Juls and Lisa's friend Kristen for including me in their fun! And thanks Juls for sharing a room with me!


My Thanksgiving was fabu! Hope yours was, too! Started with the Trader Joe's Turkey Bowl, then finished my coking and delivered cupcakes to my 2 cupcake queens, then off to M&D's for a great time! Thanks family for making it...entertaining!


Thanks to my mommy and my sis for going shopping with me Friday morning at 5a.m., and thanks for doing the latkes with me before I can't.


Thanks to Nedra for opening the shop for me. It was supposed to be your day off, but you wouldn't let me go to hospital with bad nails...and thanks for doing them half painted, so my nailbeds are naked!


Thanks to Mike for flying in to take me to dinner last night for my "last supper"...stick to my ribs red meat, oh happy day!


Thanks to my friends who are drowning me with love and offers of assistance. I'll call, but you can call me too!


Wish me success...luck is too chancy!


xo

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Compulsive or Anxious?

Here it is, the night before Thanksgiving (well, 30 minutes away)... I've got the cranberry sauce remade, the brussel sprouts washed and draining, the yams and
the pumpkin spice cupcakes baking...and I really just need sleep! But there will be lots of that shortly, so I'm going to work my butt off and lift my heavy pots from bottom cabinets and everything I can do, before I can't anymore!
Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday. It has nothing to do with religion, so it doesn't create resentment or hatred amongst one zealot or another.

Ian and I will start with the Trader Joe's annual Turkey Bowl, come home to rest a while, shower and head to mom & dad's (stopping at Lori's to be the cupcake fairy, and perhaps at the home of the royal cupcake queen herself)! I am the side dish queen...and perfectly happy to do so! The only part of the turkey I really like is the outside, though I'll wrassle my sis for the gizzard! Did I mention that dad deep-frys our birds, and has since before it became really groovy to do so? I have a deep-fryer if anyone would like to borrow it...anytime!

Friday, my mom, my sis and I will do potato latkes... this is a messy, fun tradition! Refer back in a few days for the potatoe weight and quantity frozen (always very different from the qty fried)! This is our tradition! Lots of Jews make them fresh on Chanukah night, but I think it stinks up the house and someone is stuck frying...so this is how we roll!

Saturday will be nail day...something sedate that exposes my nailbeds...for the anesthesiologist, so he/she doesn't remove my polish!

It's now 12:30...time to wrap up whatever I can and finish in the a.m. Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and to your beloved families!

xo

Friday, November 16, 2007

Spiraling Out of Control

Here I am sucking down beer #4, darvocet #2 and soma # who-can-remember and thinking:

There I was, driving home at the end of the day looking forward to a little peace, and I got "hit"...right in my comfort zone. Why was Al from my orthopedic surgeon's office calling me at 5:30pm on a Friday?

So the answer is this: I get two surgeries...one on Monday, November 26th and one on Tuesday, November 27th. Once through the front...and once through the back. So seriously, I'll come out of the anesthesia on Monday and realize how painful it is...and then realize that I get it on the flip side the next day...excuse my language (FUCK).

And the best...it's Friday and I see my doctor on Wednesday...and have to wait until then for answers.

I...hate relying on others. I... firmly believe that I can take care of myself, but for this moment I am not feeling terribly confident. I... am freaking out! I...am wondering if they have a Starbucks in the hospital (adding that to the list of doctor questions). I...am seriously pissed off! I...am going to miss the previews of the Scarlet Lime kits (though Christy is an angel and will send me the payment link before surgery...xoxo to you). I...am going to miss my darling friend's birthdays (I love you Colleen and Crystle). I... refuse to admit I am completely terrified to not be in control. I...am definitely freaking out!

Thank you for listening...you are the peeps I adore! xo

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I'M NOT IGNORING YOU

I am mentally shutting down...it isn't good, but it's me. You may not hear from me. You may not get return calls. I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed, as I race head-first toward surgery day. I am just trying to deal with the things that are mine.
Thanks to everyone who is offering help. I am stubborn and will say no, but thank you for offering! And thanks to everyone who listens to me complain...I can't stand myself sometimes; I'm sure you're over it, too!

Please don't be hurt. E-mails are welcome. Phone calls are welcome...I'll pick up if I can! I just feel like I can only deal with so much!
On a positive note, I should get my car back today! The Orange Line was a hoot, though, and it might be a fun change when daylight savings time returns!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Squirrel on a Wheel

Two weeks...that's what I have until the day I can't lift anything heavier than my Starbucks cup...and I feel like time is running away!

I have so much to do over the next several days, and will be gone over the weekend, so will really be behind! So if you don't see me/ hear from me...give me a call: I'll be the one running around wondering where the time goes!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

WOMEN BEHAVING BADLY

Happy Birthday month my sweet friend! 20 more days left to celebrate, and I hope each one is as special as you are!

Thanks to Bucket for hosting last night's and tomorrow's events...and thanks to the b'day girl Colleen for doing all of the driving today! Starbucks in Van Nuys...Roger's Garden in Corona del Mar...Timeless Treasures in Rancho Santa Margarita and Oasis in Irvine: you're the bomb! And huge thanks to Michael and the boys for feeling well enough to allow Crystle to play with us!

I love you all!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

A Belated Tagging

A few weeks ago my friend Colleen tagged me on her blog...and I'm finally catching up.

There are rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Here's 7 facts about me:
1. I do not love desserts, and I definitely do not like chocolate. I say this as I'm cleaning up from baking 4 dzn cupcakes for the friend who can't get enough sweets!
2. Now that surgery is sooner rather than later (I'll know for sure tomorrow), I'm absolutely terrified.
3. I adore my son, and I'd like to beat some sense into him...these are usually constants in our life. The downfall of having an 18 year old!
4. If I could do anything, I'd open a creative space, run classes & sell coordinating products, and have areas for different creative outlets...there would have to be a Starbuck's inside!
5. Cooking gives me pleasure beyond words, because it's another creative outlet...eat mein kinder!
6. I love it when Ian curls up in bed with me and wants his back scratched!
7. I look forward to the day when I'll move back to Seattle.

I suddenly realized I don't know how to create links on my blog! I don't think anyone actually reads my blog... perhaps fact #8 is that I find blogging to be this very public view into a very private me...I love the way it feels to scrapblog my world!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

SET ME FREE!


It's official! As of today, I can run away to anywhere, without a thought! Well, except for the thought of, "Will the dogs be alive when I return"?
In January we're doing a family cruise to Mexico...but I plan to make much use of this sucker over the next 10 years!
WOOHOO!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Weekends are TOO short


It's 6:30 Sunday night...or is it 7:30? It confuses me both directions!


My Saturday was spent at Ginger's Crop. She ALWAYS gives one of the very best crops I've ever attended. 9am-10pm...lots of space and lots of prizes...vendors...close to restaurants, and I always get to spend the day with a friend or two. Yesterday I got to see several friends, as well as 2 vsf's, Colleen and Lori. I knew they would get along: they are 2 of the kindest, most gentle women I know...with the sharp edges I adore. We had a wonderful time. Dinner at Soup Plantation, a stop at Michael's, and much fun! Thanks girls for making my day and for being part of my zen; thanks Ginger and Sandy for everything you do for us!


Today I ran up the the Porter Ranch Joann's. I'm incredibly thankful all of the Joann's stores near me suck. Anyway, got the embellishment case I've been eyeballing (recommended by Dawn who's weekend is just 12 days away), to get rid of my current confuguration (see above). I also went briefly to hang out with my friend Janice at a CM Crop, and remet a very sweet similar-to-me CM Consultant, Tami. Janice has been my CM Consultant for about 13 years, and I do love her to pieces.


On the way back from Porter Ranch there was a man by the freeway turn, asking for money. I usually don't, but today I did. Not sure why I did, but I felt compelled. It reminded me that when Ian was little he wanted to give money to every homeless person. I used to tell him that if we gave to every person who askes, we'd be on the street with them. It also reminded me of when Ian was in 5th grade and had to sell candy bars. We called everyone in LA and asked for $20 checks for Ian's school. My sis, my sweet cousin Feo and I took the (no one needs that much candy) 200 candy bars to the Million-aires Club...the homeless shelter in downtown Seattle. As we were carrying them in one of the people outside mentioned that if the candy went inside, that they would never get it...so we stood outside and heard people's stories and handed out candy for a while. It was a little scary at first, but by the time we left, we felt completely blessed by the experience. I repeated it the following year when our friend's son had to sell the same candy bars, and we could afford a good donation...I've never felt more alive in my life: it felt like selfish charity, since I believe I got more from it then anyone! Today was a reminder to me to do something charitable whenever possible.


To Lori and to Janice... I wish you both strength,and I wish your loved ones who are suffering the strength it takes to get them where they want to be.


Anyway, one Trader Joe's stop, $200, and here we are.


No concerts this week, so I look forward to lots of sleep before we celebrate the wild woman's b'day next weekend. The lemons are looking almost ready for martinis...unless you won't mix Irish Whiskey and Vodka...perhaps one Friday, one Saturday...and Sunday?


Hoping you all had a special weekend, too! xo






Monday, October 29, 2007

Lemonade Martinis, lemon cookies, lemonade...

This is a small portion of my extremely loaded Meyer lemon tree. I keep looking at it, knowing that very soon I'll be a lemon picking fool... and that I will be freezing lemon juice in ice cube trays for future use!

I don't love Meyer lemons. They aren't tart enough for me...they don't make me pucker! But if you like them and are local, I'll call you when it's time, and you can grab some...or pick them up from me at work!

And perhaps there are great Meyer lemon recipes somewhere!

The Queen of the Good Things

I am not a fan of the Martha...I think she is a piece of work, to say the least. And I rarely give her a thought, unless I walk down the wrong aisle at Michael's.

So there I was on a flight to Oakland, reading the November issue of Real Simple magazine...a mag I rarely purchase because it makes me feel like a total under achiever, and there is a Macy's ad for the Martha Stewart Collection...only at Macy's.

I OWN ALL OF THAT STUFF! Granted, not in robin's egg blue, but COME ON! The garlic peeler I bought at Pike Place market that is manufactured in Culver City, CA; the garlic press that Henckel does so well, the juicer done by...everyone!

It isn't that she's a brilliant business woman; it's that she is surrounded by brilliant business people, and 10,000 worker bees.

But she oozes smug! She gives off an energy that is ice-cold and screams un-earned superiority. Everything about her insists I dislike everything about her!

If she is a nice person-- mazel tov, but I find it difficult to believe that she is.

I admit: I bought her large craft mat from Michael's the minute you could use the 50% coupon on her stuff... a girl's gotta take care of her needs!

For my Martha-loving friends: I love you and your do-it-all-so-well attitudes...I aspire to that!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

It Was All Hearsay...

until I took a bite of one of these evil offerings of the Satan who wishes to add even more inches to my ass!

Colleen keeps talking about Sprinkles; endlessly discussing the virtue of the sweet, yummy goodness that is a cupcake. And since Lori works across from the Sprinkles in BH, and we were meeting at our Starbucks last night...I took advantage of my darling friend: one pumpkin for me and something chocolate for Ian!

Please know that if Colleen had her way, Ian would never have known there was a cupcake for him, as she tried to guilt me by mentioning how much the ever-withering Spanky would enjoy said cupcake...good thing for Ian, I was too tired to drive even the 10 minutes to deliver the cupcake to Spanky (who probably wouldn't have known it was for him).

So Ian got home from school at 10:30 last night and we poured huge glasses of milk and enjoyed every bite: he ate the whole thing with 2 glasses of milk and I ate half...I just had the other half with my a.m. coffee. His exact words were, "Oh sh*t, these are amazing...damn Colleen for telling you about them...and damn Lori for being the dealer". He clearly equates them to the most awesome foods on this earth, which all have crack in them...he says that's why the best foods are addictive!

So my darling friends, THANK YOU for exposing us to Sprinkles! I love you/ I hate you!xo

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Farewell to my friend

For a very long time, Lori and I have met in the early-ish evening at our local Starbucks, to catch up and solve the problems of the world: usually in under 2 hours! Today is our last time.

Today MY Starbucks is closing. All of this in the name of progress! On Ventura Blvd. in Tarzana, by the no-longer-there Mann Theater, where everything is changing...my haven is going away.

The employees are going to other locations, and they tell me Starbucks will return to the corner in 2 years...2 YEARS!!! This means that we'll have to travel a mile in either direction (oh so far) to hang at a new spot... other characters, other habits. I like the predictability of my crowd: the girl who sits inside at the first table by the bar, always working on her computer...the group of 20-somethings, smoking around two tables in the hallway... and us.

I will miss this old friend, and will look forward to its return.



Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A NIGHT WITH THE BOYS

i
I really like being home, and having enough energy to get things done! Above you see my four-legged boys, keeping me company tonight. The boys (Bruiser, Buster and Marley), along with "The Devil Wears Prada" on cable, made for a GREAT night!
Tonight I started on my goal of straightening a room a week; putting away so that whenever surgery happens, the house won't be an explosion. I started with the office...which has spilled over to the dining room table and seems bottomless! I'm making a huge dent in my total lack of organization, and hope to have the office done before I head to Oakland for the Springsteen concert this weekend!
But my favorite enabler, Colleen, is sitting at her computer, filling my in-box with so much to consider... discount at two peas; the red paper with the pink damask that HS used in her book, Sprinkles cupcakes and the PSE upgrade (well, maybe that was my fault)!
So, while I'm trying to be efficient... I'm still distracted!

Monday, October 22, 2007

STUPID ME...an explanation

Many of you have asked, so I must explain:

My blog is my haven. I can say anything here, because everyone who knows about it is someone I would say anything to...but I made the mistake of exposing my last blogsite to someone outside my wanted-exposure zone, and within 5-10 minutes I had a complete review of everything on that blog. EEEEWWWWWW!

I made it clear to this person that it was a mistake; that my blog was meant for a small circle of people, and that the site was going away...to which he responded, "I'll just not go there again." YEAH, RIGHT! Of course, yesterday he e-mailed that he couldn't see my blog and wanted to know what happened...so much for not going there again!

SO, here we are in the new space...and I'm kinda liking it!

Happy Monday all!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

NOKIA THEATRE - beyond fabulous

Most of you know I've been going to concerts since I was about 13. And my biggest complaint is ALWAYS that the acoustics suck! Who could forget Adam Ant at Universal, screaming like a lunatic? Or the lousy sound when Bruce opened Staples?

I am happy to report acoustic perfection in Los Angeles! The Nokia Theatre holds about 7100 people, and looks wide...and it is. The sound is amazing, and made the Eagles sound even better than ever!

Thankfully the screens are large, and clear! We were in the orchestra, and it was still difficult to see.

The consession situation sucks, so I suggest eating and drinking prior!

One of the earliest concerts I attended was the Eagles "Hotel California" tour in 1976. I've seen them many times over the years, but not in a long time have they seemed as happy or sounded as good as they did last night! They played new as well as old; they played Henley's solo stuff, Frey's solo stuff and Walsh's solo stuff! They ended with "Take it Easy" and "Desperado"...this concert goes in to my memory bank as a concert highlight of all time. I can't tell you the feeling that hit me when they played "Hotel California"; it was like an old friend, come back for a comfortable chat.

The Dixie Chicks were awesome! I only knew their newest album, and I do love that album, and they played much from it. Their other stuff is country-ish, but fun and it didn't bug! I'll probably even purchase another Chicks album...I'm a convert to the Chicks!

Eagles & Chicks have 4 more shows if you have a chance...tix are really pricey, but worth it!

I can't wait to go back!

Friday, October 19, 2007

NO, SERIOUSLY! (all I seem to do is rant lately)

So I just FINALLY got my attorney's office to fax me the AME report that they received last week.

I have left at least 6 messages for the attorney's assistant, and at leat 5 or 6 for the attorney...and never received a response. So my last message to the assisstant who's vm says she'll return calls between 3:30-4:30 was, "I don't actually believe you, since you never have before." So on her fax cover she writes, "Thank you for your anticipated courtesy and cooperation."

First she doesn't know me...or she'd know that the only way to anticipate courtesy and cooperation is to give it! And second, when I'm through with this case I'm going to ask my attorney why he is happy with such mediocrity.

Okay, off my soapbox for the evening. I'm off to my very-first-ever moonlighter at my fav scrapbook store! I'll be there until 2am, so don't hesitate to ring me! xo

LIVE IN MY BODY (a repeat rant because I heard it again today)

I am blessed! I have mostly great friends , and family. I come home to 3 boys who think I am their universe, and 1 who thinks he is the universe. I have fun. I keep busy and I get to do arts and crafts. After falling at work in June 2006, I could have been much worse off. Very little stops me! And there are drugs for the things that do.

Having said that, I must ask those who say, "Whatever you do, don't have surgery", and those who say, "I have a friend who almost died..." or something along those lines...WHAT THE FUCK? Did you go to med school? Have you seem my MRIs or x-rays? Have you muscle tested my left leg and watched me fail miserably? Do you live on Soma and Darvocet, washed down with whatever amplifies the effects? Do you wonder how much sleep you'll get and which pain will wake you during the night? Do you get out of the car or move and have to stop because your left hip joint is stuck? Have you recently fallen down a flight of stairs because your leg gave out? Can you feel the bones in your back grind on eachother because one disk is gone? Are you ever afraid to move because it might be the move that throws you back into deep rolling spasms?

To those of you who think you know it all I'll simply say this: spend 2 weeks in my body; you can do anything for a week, but by the second you'll be done. Then spend 16 months in pain and being played by the insurance company. Live uncomfortable at best, and always on drugs... and then we'll talk.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

STUPID ME

Because of a lapse in judgement, and faith in my own efficiency, I made a huge error! And therefore, have changed blogs.

My blog is for the people I share with, and for the people I want to share with. Sometimes there are secrets revealed that are not for all eyes...so because I blew it, I'm new!