Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Prayers and Babies and Tile, oh my...

First, before I whine, I want to celebrate a very darling friend of mine. We are friends. I don’t know her well, and yet I consider her a true friend…one I can be completely honest with, and know that she’ll get it! And I’m being secretive because I have no clue who knows…that she is pregnant! This fabulous woman is just a bit younger than me, and having twins! She knows how happy I am for her family, and how very envious I am of her…but it couldn’t happen to a more wonderful family. Wishing you an easy pregnancy! Know that I’m available to babysit, and/or come over and bring you a little sanity (and cuddle one or both of your new babies), and help with the older one if she’ll have it!

And I also have to mention that my fabulous Tante is in the hospital…I would probably never ask for prayers for myself, but I must ask for prayers for her…PLEASE!

I’ve thought about going into hiding, but can’t seem to see the benefit at the moment! My doctor released me, and part of my life is in limbo… what is in store for me is so unknown; I want to bury my head in the sand for just a little bit! What balls I have to whine with all that goes on in this world...but it is mine.

Sadly, I am not 100%. Although I can walk many miles, my hips pay for it when I climb into bed…they ache and I can’t get comfortable for many hours, even with Soma and Norco (and don’t even ask about s..). Walking up inclines is not “simple”, and I have to consciously shorten my steps in order to navigate hills. Funny, my back is great, but because of the long delay of treatment and the fact that I walked “funny” to compensate for the back pain, my left hip is not so funny! I still can’t sleep on my left side, which is how I always slept until surgery sucked that away! This is me whining, and I won’t apologize…between this and cancer shit, I’m a little spent recently!

Ian is kicking ass at his second job. He is getting the opportunity to see how people should be treated at work, and how ridiculously full of drama the other job really is! But the new job is helping him to just do the other job and not buy into the BS! He spends some nights at my folks’ house since they live 6 miles from SM, instead of the 18+ from here. He is very happy.

I do miss him, though my house is when I get home, as I left it in the morning. No dishes in the sink; no added laundry, and food in the fridge. I do miss him, but this is not a bad thing!

I am about to undertake the research of tile for my home. Any input from friends would be greatly appreciated! If you have a great tile person, or a great company you’ve dealt with…I’d love your help! And if someone has a spouse or sibling or relative who does this for a living, I’d love to give him or her the business if they’re competitive! Also, wood blinds…not shutters!

This is a short catch up, so hi all and Happy Summer!

Love ya!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

3a.m.

Yes, it's 3am on Saturday morning. Ian got home from his new job at 2:30am, and went off to TJ's to start at 4am. Oh, to be 19! BUt since he has been gone, he had to come home and tell me all about it...at 2:30am (not like I was sleeping)!

Ian got a job testing video games for a major manufacturer. He works in Santa Monica, Monday through Friday, from 5:30pm - 2:00am. He is so proud to have gotten the job himself! And he is staying with my folks during the week, since they live only 5 mi away, to save $ on gas. My house is lonely, but I never come home to dishes in the sink now!

I get to pack my car in about 4 hours to head to a G crop, which is always fun! I'm extremely bugged that my CM order, which I paid extra for 2-day shipping on, didn't arrive yesterday as promised...CRAP! It means I'll have to ship pre-orders and pay extra shipping, instead of hand-delivering today. SHIT!

Today C's baby girl graduates High School. It is the most amazing feeling, to watch your child leave behind a life of obligated education...no choice, just do it! It's also amazing to remember the little girl who so many years ago played on the beach with Ian for hours, and to reconcile that to this beautiful young woman. My most sincere congrats, love and hugs to the entire E-O fam.

Finally, dinner tomorrow night with..... what was I thinking when I said yes? Well, my last and final and never again...I just can't. Too creepy. Too weird. Quite simply, I am not that likable... move the hell on!

Oh, and since I didn't walk yesterday, I'm overdue...SHIT!

Great weekend all!
xo

Sunday, June 1, 2008

ARE THOSE YOUR FAT JEANS???

I am actually thankful for this question. This may sound like an awful question, but it made me feel really great...sort of. As I got dressed this morning, this was the question I was asked, as my favorite jeans were so loose they could be slipped off even buttoned and zipped. They in fact, are not my "fat jeans", but are my favorite jeans and are now too big enough that they will be washed and exiled to the back of my closet. I have loved and worn these jeans for about 6 years even during my thin times, except for approximately September 2007 - March 2008, when I was indeed wearing fat jeans, that I had to go out and buy! My fav pair are Lucky brand; low-rise, decent through the thighs, butter soft and more than long enough for dansko's or platforms...they are my friends! So, I can't just give them away...they will sleep in the back of the closet with my fav overalls until I decide what to do with the denim...because it is my intention to never fit in them again.

Since I haven't caught up recently, here it is:

This past Tuesday I saw the dermatologist... he said all of the "things" on my body were of no concern (something to be thankful for, since I am seriously Caucasian and did the baby oil thing growing up). This past Thursday (1 week after surgery) the surgeon removed the external sutures. He still doesn't have the pathology report, so no answers there but he isn't concerned. The oncologist isn't concerned either! Saw her on Thursday, also...scheduled an ultrasound to check the cyst in my ovary that the found on the PET scan...and that's it, until I see the onc and the derm in August.

The surgeon taped up where he removed the sutures with surgical tape and super glue...it's more uncomfortable now than it was with sutures, and it isn't terribly comfortable to walk! However, it doesn't stop me, it just slows me down a little! I am probably allergic to the tape...will deal with it manana.

Yesterday was my niece's college grad party...so much fun and so awesome to see everyone! I love my huge family, and am so thankful that they came into our lives! This is the family that are the G'nicks and DB's...and the P-lo's that are new to the fam! It was wonderful to have some of the daddy-family clan together...we never do, and it makes me sad! As the fam has grown, we've had to fragment, instead of doing the group holidays of my childhood.

Today is gorgeous...as I arrived home this morning I got C's text to walk...okay, 5 mi it is. And later I'm meeting the SIL to walk again. I will never be a tootsie roll pop, or a q-tip or whatever you call those girls, but it's ridiculous for my ego when someone actually refers to me as "thin". It keeps my ass going out there! It's also sanity...I can think; I can space, and we can solve the problems of the world! I am so thankful that I can do this, and thankful to Bucket for getting me out there the first few times! Today Bucket did the SD R&R Marathon...hope you kicked butt friend...now get your ass back out walking with us!

Finally, my Bro and SIL loaned me their extra vehicle (mine is still in the freaking shop), a Yukon SUV. I've never driven one, and other than finding space to parallel park, this is an amazingly comfortable ride! It doesn't even feel like I'm driving a monster truck! If it weren't for the fact that gas is now $4.29/ gal and that it doesn't fit in my garage, this would be an awesome vehicle!

It's 1:30 on Sunday... I've spent the past 2 hours on the patio, reading the paper and letting the boys lay in the sun. I've just spent 20 minutes doing this. Now it's time to continue laundry, clean the bedroom and chill...before going walking again!

I hope you all have a magnificent Sunday, and that you can find at least one thing to be thankful for today. xo